If you have followed me a while, then you know I’m on this journey to peace, happiness and loving myself. But the truth is it sucks sometimes.
Today I’m sharing some truths. Judge if you want, but the purpose of my blog is transparency and I’m giving it to you.
Truth 1: Being positive and happy all the time is hard as HELL! I get for some people, that’s your personality, but it is something I have to work on and some days I don’t feel positive or happy.
Truth 2: Trying to love all the things about yourself that you have considered flaws for 40 years is Hard as Hell! I don’t recall ever having a flat stomach, and it has always been a sore spot for me and now I’m supposed to act like I love it. Ugh
Truth 3: Some of my first world problems are a big deal at the moment. I get that I should be thankful for a roof over my head, a car, a job, etc. and I am but some days the day sucks and I should be able to say it without feeling judged or someone saying it’s a first world problem. I know, but today it is a real problem. Let me have my moment.
Truth 4: Being 40 sucks at times. No, being 40 isn’t bad and I’m thankful most say I don’t look 40 but when you think of all you still want to do and you realize you are 40 not 20 anymore it SUCKS!
Truth 5: Trying to get comfortable with the fact that I may never have kids is hard as HELL! The thought of not experiencing being pregnant sometimes makes me want to cry. I know adoption is an option, and I’m thankful I may have that choice, but in sharing my truth…the truth is I want that experience and I know what you will say but I’m 40 now closer to 41 so it will not be easy.
Truth 6: I am SO OVER BEING SINGLE! I have been independent for years; I know I can take care of myself, but it is something about having someone to share your life with. I love my dad (if you know me, you know our relationship) but telling him about my day every day is old. I wish I had a man to come home to and discuss my day with.
Truth 7: Sharing this list was HARD! I want to be this person who is out here living, laughing, loving and enjoying life but some days it’s not like that and on those days I feel guilty for feeling that way.
I shared this list today because writing is therapeutic for me. The other reason I shared it is the same reason I started this blog…I don’t think I’m alone and I hope maybe we can help each other.
What are some truths you are or were afraid to share? You don’t have to share in the comments you can email me crownedcanesha@outlook.com. Let’s work through this together.
Until next time,
Crowned CaNesha