2017 began rocky for me. It was a big year (turning 40) and I had all these big plans, but life kept getting in the way and it seemed like my b-day was going to be a bust. But God! If you have followed me, you know God has given me the most amazing friends and family and my 40th birthday turned out to be better than I could have ever imagined.
I promised myself that I would not go into my forties the way I did my thirties and so it began. I began to work on myself, choosing happiness and pursuing my dreams…i.e. the blog.
So far so good, but I want to step it up in 2018. I am making a promise to myself and my readers to move my life forward by letting go of fear and worry. They are by far my biggest roadblocks.
I guess you are wondering what I’m afraid of. Everything. LOL! But seriously, I think my biggest fears are judgment and failure. I wanted to be a blogger for a long time and in the last year I feel like I have really become focused but there is so much more work to do. One of the biggest things is making videos…that totally freaks me out. I think I look and sound terrible, but it is what brands look for, so I have to do it.
I also feel like I hold back on posting certain things because I am afraid of what people will think and/or say. I’m so afraid of being judged that I think my blog is stagnant and more than anything I want it to flourish. So, for 2018 I am going to work hard to get over my fear of judgement and failure and just go for it and have faith that you all will like it enough that you feel inclined to share it (shameless plug).
I also worry about everything. My parents health, my health, my womb, my future husband, who likes my post, who clicked on the link to my blog, what did they think if they read it, etc. it’s ridiculous. I will then pray about it but continue to worry. Guess what? That doesn’t work. For 2018 no more…once I pray about it that’s it. I am going to TRUST HE will work it out. It may take me to the end of 2018 to get this one right, but I am going to work on it every day.
Last but not least I am going to continue to work on myself…I am getting better, but there is more work to do. I want to LOVE myself in or out of clothes (I know TMI), with or without makeup. I want to be confident in whatever I’m doing… not second guessing myself.
Basically, what I am saying is I’m about to adjust my crown and get S&%# done. Who’s with me?
What does your 2018 look like?
Signed,
Crowned CaNesha (CC)
