I was asked to answer this question a few weeks ago and I have thought about it and I think I finally have it. But if you have followed my blog for a while, you know there is a story coming…I can’t give a 1-2 sentence response LOL!
In my 20’s success to me was balling, making it rain at the mall (I do not think those words were out in my 20’s but no clue what the cool lingo was back then) but you get my point. All I thought about or cared about was making money…I had a few, maybe several jobs in my 20’s because I wanted to make a lot of money I didn’t care about the job itself I just wanted to shop when I wanted to, eat out, etc.
Then the early 30’s hit and success to me was being a wife and mother. It consumed my life and made me feel like my life sucked because I wasn’t that. To me that is where I was supposed to be. I lived La Vida Loca in my 20’s and now it was time to settle I mean, doesn’t everyone do that in their 30’s? And since I wasn’t there or even close I felt like a loser for lack of a better word.
So, here we are now in my late 30’s and I know what I want success to look like for me. Success to me is being a great daughter, an awesome aunt, a cool sister, and a fantastic friend.
Years ago I was watching an episode of Oprah, and this woman said she wrote her own obituary and she wasn’t pleased with it so she worked on being a different person.
Right now at this point if I wrote my obituary, I’m not sure what it would say and I’m not sure it would all be great. When I leave this earth I don’t want my friends and family struggling to find good things to say about me or to leave a lot out.
You know you have been to those funerals where people struggle to find the right words because that person sucked! I want my friends and family to be able to say she made this world a better place while she was here and I am glad she was in my life.
Understand I would be lying if I said I still didn’t want to make it rain in Louis Vuitton one day, but I would also like to make it rain at a homeless shelter.
I also still want to be a mother and wife, but my goal is not to let that define my success but to make that an addition to my success. I may not ever be a wife, but I have plans to become a mother, maybe not naturally, but adoption is there and when that happens, I will be the best mother I can be…thankfully I have an awesome role model. Shout out to my momma.
At the end of the day, we all can define success, however we want you just have to figure out what works for you and what is going to make you happy. And I am not mad if success to you is making it rain in LA down Rodeo Drive but take me with you LOL!
How do you define success?
Signed,
Crowned CaNesha