Photo by Christy Shaterian Photography
I compare myself to bloggers, married people, people with kids, people who have met great dudes online and women with flat stomachs. I think that’s it. But either way it’s a problem. I’m trying to get better and I can say most of the time I’m cool, but now and then I go down the rabbit hole and I can’t stop.
I’ll be on IG checking out some other bloggers and I’m ashamed to say I always look at their numbers…LORD WHY…Help me. My head knows that some of them have been blogging longer than me (like years longer) and I need to be patient, but the comparison devil says” look at your numbers compared to theirs. You should quit.” And yes, he says that to me. Now that’s not to say I don’t support them because I do. I just constantly compare myself.
Every time I see marriage and baby announcements I am excited for the people even if I don’t know them. I love, love. But the comparison devil will say “Not looking good for you, I mean you are 41, super single and childless.” It makes me sad for a while, and I try to shake it off. But sometime that shake doesn’t work.
Online dating I know some people who have met great guys and are now married with kids but I get all the weirdos. I’m like what am I doing wrong?The comparison devil says “Girl; this is all that’s left for you. Suck it up.” And I don’t want to believe it, but sometimes as I’m swiping and swiping (left of course) I’m like that devil might be right.
And last but not least…these women with flat stomachs…can they tell me how to do it? Besides telling me to stop eating cupcakes. There has to be another way. The comparison devil is always like “Bruh, stop eating and work out…it’s that simple.” I don’t need this negativity in my life. LOL.
Although, I made jokes these are real feelings and real battles that I deal with often. There is one part of me that is genuinely happy and proud for all that I am accomplishing, but the other side of me is the MOST IMPATIENT person ever and wants it all now.
If you have followed me for a while, then you know this blog is for me to get things off my chest so today I’m hoping now that it’s typed up I can figuratively ball it up and throw these feelings away.
I hope and pray that one day this will not be a thing and the comparison devil will have left me alone. But until then pray for me and if you have ever dealt with this share with me how you handle it.
Thanks so much for indulging this woe is me post.
Love,
Crowned CaNesha